How to stop having expectations?

Expectation is one feeling which could be the reason behind how we feel at the end of each day. One of the keys to happiness is managing expectations. Expectations doesn't hurt, the urge of trying to stop expecting hurts.

Most of the people tend to understand that expectation is the root of our sadness. So, we as humans try to stop ourselves from expecting something from someone. But what we don't realize is that expecting that we don't expect anything is also an expectation. Expecting something is not wrong. The thing is when we try to stop ourselves from expecting, an inner conflict begins inside us. Because we are trying to achieve something which is next to impossible.



As long as we are alive, we will have some expectation or the other. When we are in a relationship with our friends or family or lover it is obvious to have expectations. Like we expect our friends to be with us, family to support us, lover to love us and much more things. Having an expectation is not wrong. And we cannot stop having expectations.

It is absolutely okay to have expectations. We should leave the thought of trying to stop expectations. Then we won't have any inner conflicts and we will be at peace. Because then we will have one less thing to think about in our mind. It will be like, sometimes we will have expectations sometimes we won't and whenever we have expectations we might get hurt but that is the circle of life. This is what we need to understand. For example we have our body, sometimes we will have a disease and sometimes we won't. It is impossible to think that we won't have a single disease ever.

This is the base of us getting sad and disappointed, because most of times we cannot understand what is happening around us. These are some laws of universe. The universe will not work according to our thinking, we have to understand the reality of the universe and accept it. Because thinking about it and being sad will just make us spend a moment of our life in negativity.

It's not a hard thing to be happy. Accepting that expecting is a normal thing is not a hard thing to do, now there is a question in our minds that "How do I accept it?", Well the answer to that purely depends on us. Accepting it isn't going to happen in a day or two. It is a learning process, which will get perfect every single day as you practice it. Another key factor is, not giving up on this process of accepting something. For example it took us time to learn and accept addition, it didn't happen in a day.

We shouldn't be afraid of the fact that our expectations may break and we might get hurt because of it. The reason behind the fact that we think about the people who didn't meet our expectations and think more about it is that we are afraid of getting hurt, therefore the feeling of sadness gets triggered and sustains for a longer time. 

If someone doesn't meet our expectation we tend to relate it to our past experiences and assume that we are going to be sad after this because we were sad in the past when something like this happened. We tend to label it and feel the exact same disappointment or sadness. What we don't understand is that it is 'like' something that had happened, it is not the exact same thing. So choose joy over sadness.



Once we truly understand this and accept the reality we won't react it to the same way we used to and we might end up ignoring it and start focusing on positive things.

This blog went too deep I guess, Feel free to contact me if you have any doubts.

I love you all,
Be happy,
Be positive,
Keep smiling,
See you guys in my next blog...